The Inner Pensioner Tuts

I lean my elbow on the bar
And my cardigan soaks up
Someone else's spillage,
And from afar,
I hear the c-word.
The inner pensioner tuts.
Schoolkids snogging on the bus,
Someone throws a Quaver my way
And I have to shout for my ticket
Over the 3.30 din.
The inner pensioner tuts.
I go out for a paper,
Treat myself to a Twirl,
And splashed on the pavement
In a white paint tattoo reads PILL HEAD.
The inner pensioner tuts.
I'm only 23,
And I'm sighing during half term,
At kids wheeling on the pavement,
And I try to stop it,
But it just takes over,
And the inner pensioner tuts.