Middle Class Woes

I'm coming to terms with my middle class woes.
It turns out I have them EVERY DAY.
There's a strike, and there is no Today programme on Radio 4! How will I know what's going on with the world?
Fairtrade cloves are FAR too crumbly to make a pomander.
I have eaten so many M&S redcurrant puffs I may burst.
Mustn't drop my laptop in the footspa while I write this.
Oh, and we ran out of newspaper to wrap food waste in for the compost: so we're using Vogue instead.
Ugh! There's apple in my Waitrose beetroot salad! I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!
Woah, I nearly deafened myself there, eating Kettle Chips with my noise-cancelling earphones on. Oof!
OH MY GOD there are no avocados in the shops; HOW will I make guacamole now??
Shit, it's Clinique Bonus Time; if I buy two skincare products I get a free make-up bag. My bathroom cabinet is already stocked with everything I need. BUT I WANT THE MAKE-UP BAG. To add to my 'Clinique Bonus Time free make-up bag' drawer.
I *really* cannot get to grips with the new layout of the Radio Times. The daytime schedule wasn't always like this!
Somebody help me.

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