Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ode to Ms. W.

Denounce my faith,
forget everything.
Give up
on what we fought for.
Embrace my pastel-coloured, italic-font
paperback stereotype,
become that weakling heroine
who waits by the phone
and dots her ‘i’s with little hearts.
I will buy into tummy-slimming pants
and pinch my feet in heels
I will FORGET
about ordering a beer.
Make ‘his’ dinner every night,
assume every ‘she’ has a ‘he’.
Give up on nagging, girls,
give up on nagging him to pick up his dirty socks
AND PICK THE FUCKERS UP YOURSELVES.
This is my doctrine,
These are the new ‘Rules’,
This is how we are going to roll.
Men across the nation
hurl their dirty left and right socks down
hollering
It finally happened!
Do this, fellas, and she will pick them up
every
single
time.
Top marks, Ms. W. Top marks.
Thank you for all you have done.
You walked into my office.

I wish I had thrown socks on the floor.

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