All I Want for Christmas is...3 for 2

(This is a poem about the real meaning of Christmas.
The Boots 3 for 2 offer.)

I don't want too much for Christmas
There are just some things I need
I don't care about the turkey
The poor sods should be just set free
I just want the 3 for 2
Boots, without you what would I do?
Make up and shampoo...
All I want for Christmas is...
You

I don't want too much for Christmas
I won't even wish for snow,
I don't care about baby Jesus
Ho ho ho to hell I go,
I don't need to hang my stocking
It's really just not big enough
I want a mango shower smoothie
And some almond body buff
I just want the whole of Boots,
More than figs and candied fruits,
Make up and shampoo...
All I want for Christmas is you.

The shop in the high street is shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of Kate Moss's perfume
Spraying fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those cash desks ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my GHDs...

Oh I don't want too much for Christmas
Boots is all I'm asking for
I just want my Homer Simpson toothbrush
Standing outside the bathroom door
Oh I just want the whole catalogue,
A sponge that's in the shape of a frog,
Make up and shampoo,
Baby all I want for Christmas is...
3 for 2.